Lost and Alone
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Dean comes back from hell to find out his brother has snapped and is in the mental hospital where he no longer recoginizes Bobby or Dean. Can Dean help cure his brother? Limp!Sam!Protective Dean. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

**I know I have no excuse for not updating my fics this summer and during this spring. Except the reason I haven't was I've been sort of battling depression this Summer so I was just not in the mood for writing, at all-not to mention that my cat has died recently and that really hasn't helped anything either. Just trying to explain why it's been dead basically! I have not forgotten my stories or abadoned them-I hope you guys understand! Again REALLY sorry. **

**And I know it's been forever basically. And I'm writing this new story to get inspired to update my old ones. I am really very sorry. So in a way I'm back from the dead! lol. This new story is to make up for the LONG break**

the fight with Bobby, from trying to prove who he was had exhausted him. But now the only thing he was concerned with was finding out what happened to his brother.

"So Sam-"he started to say, his voice trailing off, unsure of what to ask.

"Oh he's alive," Bobby assured him and he sighed, closing his eyes in relief. "But..."

"But what?" Dean looked at him sharply. "What aren't you teling me, Bobby?"

Bobby's eyes searched for a window to stare at, rather than Dean's face.

"You're not going to like it," he said quietly.

"I don't care." Dean felt coldness run through him and swallowed, his voice feeling dry again.

"He's in a mental institution." Bobby was unable to continue and Dean blinked.

"What."He said it as a setence,not as a question.

Bobby repeated himself and Dean shook his head.

"I heard you." He steadied his breathing. "What...what happened?"

Bobby coughed and grabbed a bottle that was on top of the computer. With shaking hands he poured it into a dirt covered glass. Dean snatched it away quickly.

"I think you've had enough," he said, accusation in his eyes and voice. Bobby opened his mouth on instinct but the look in Dean's eyes warned him not to continue. instead he took in a sharp breath.

"I'm still trying to figure out what happened myself. I think something happened when Lilith blasted that white light onto him. He was in hysterics and became violent with me. But he had just lost you, so I was thinking he had some nervous breakdown. I managed to calm him down, and thought that was it. He seemed fine, well as fine as someone who had just lost his brother, who was going to hell, could be." He coughed again and Dean noticed his eyes were looking everywhere but him. "I thought that was it, but I was wrong. I kept on waking up to him having these strange fits. I told myself that whatever was happening I could handle it. That was my job, to keep him safe. That's what you would have wanted." Tears filled Bobby's eyes as he loked at Dean.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect him better."

Dean lowered his head

"Don't apologize, Bobby. You tried your best, I know you did." He kept his voice soft. So much for his theory that Sammy had made some sort of deal to get him out of hell.

"So...what got him into the mental hospital? I mean, what happened after those fits?"

"I blame myself for that. It was one of his better days. He wanted to go for a drive. I didn't want to upset him so I agreed. Worst mistake yet. Later I got a call from the hospital. I told them he was my nephew. They said he went to a bar and snapped when he was there. Started shouting about demons and monsters and about his brother being in hell. The cops came to lead him outside and that's when it happened?"

"What happened?" Fear lodged in Dean's throat.

"He accidently killed one of the cops." Bobby stared at him. "He was so out of control that they were forced to sedate him and take him to the hospital. The judge than declared him temporarily insanse." Tears trickled down his cheeks.

"And before I knew it," he whispered. "They had Sam locked up. There was no way I could have gotten him out." Bobby sighed finally.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I tried to take care of him. I really did." Bobby's voice cracked.

"I know you did," Dean murmured as he sat down, letting the news slowly sink in and wash over him, drowning him almost. His brother was in a mental hospital...He swallowed again, his throat was still dry.

"You all right?" Bobby finally dared to ask. Dean said nothing at first. He finally sighed and stood up.

"I want to see him."

Bobby stared at him.

"I'm not sure if that's wise, Dean."

"Why?" An edge was on Dean's voice.

"Because he thinks you're dead. It might raise some questions."

"Does he recoginze you?" Dean suddenly asked and Bobby frowned and lowered his eyes slowly.

"No."

"Than he probably won't recoginze me." It pained Dean into saying it, but he knew it was probably true. "We'll just say I'm his cousin."

"So you're my son than?"

Dean was taken momentarily by surprise, but he nodded and grinned.

"Guess so."

"Humph," Bobby grunted. "We don't really look alike."

"I'm seeing my brother Bobby," Dean warned. "With or without you."

"All right, all right, all right." Bobby rose to his feet. "Well go and see him."

Dean nodded, not realizing that he had been shaking. He took a swig of the whisky next to him.

"Let's go."

"We're gonna have to get you an ID first," Bobby added as he grabbed his torn jacket. Dean nodded, his mind still trying to grasp the concept that his brother had now snapped and was in a mental hospital.

"I suppose you want to drive?" A grin escaped from Bobby's mouth. Dean frowned, not understanding at first until he saw the Impala parked in front of them, looking like nothing had happened and like she was waiting for him. As he got in he realized he was worrying too much about Sam to truly enjoy driving again. But for Bobby he plastered on a smile. The keys felt strange in his hands as they scraped against his rather dry skin. He settled deep into the drivers seat and a sense of normality washed over him. Half expecting to see Sammy on the passengers end he looked at that direction, but instead he was greeted by Bobby nodding at his direction. That's when reality really struck home. They drove in silence as a lump formed in his throat.

"Dean," Bobby finally dared to ask. "Do you know what...how..."

"How I got out of hell?" Dean's knuckles tightened against the leather.

Bobby nodded.

"No.I thought maybe Sam did..."Dean's voice started to trail off. "But now that's out of the question, so no, I don't know."

Bobby nodded.

"We should find out why soon."

"I know, but first we see Sammy."

There was no other option in Dean's voice. It warned Bobby not to protest. Finally they arrived at the store.

"Let me do it," Bobby volunteered quickly. Dean slowly nodded. He kept his hands grited to the wheel as he looked around the empty car. His throat ached. It felt so empty. He felt like a strange in his own car. He swalllowed, fighting back tears.

_"What am I supposed to do without you?"_ Sam's voice haunted him.

"Oh Sammy, what happened to you?" He whispered. He jumped when Bobby finally opened the door.

"That was fast."

Bobby smiled.

"The man inside owes me a few favors." He handed Dean the card. Dean felt strange seeing his own face again.

"Dean Springer," he said, trying it out.

"Something wrong with that last name?" Bobby asked, his eyebrows arched.

Dean grinned. It felt good to smile again.

"Nope, just testing it out, on how it sounds."

"Good,"Bobby grunted and strapped in his seatbelt. "Well than let's go see your brother."

Dean nodded, relief flooding him, relief at seeing his brother again. But terrified of what he'd see...

They drove in utter silence. Slowly Dean got out of the car and stared at the hospital building where Sam was apparently living at.

"He lives by himself, in his own room," Bobby told him. "He's only allowed out for therapy sessions. Other than that he's locked up by himself most of the time. They say he's too dangerous for other people to be around him."

"Too dangerous?" Dean stared at him. "Bobby this is SAM we are talking about."

"You don't know this Sam," Bobby said. "This Sam has snapped. Has become dark and violent. I've witnessed it."

As Bobby talked his voice trailed off to a memory of one of Sam's first fits.

_Bobby groaned as he got up, a noise and woken him._

_"What the..."He stumbled over a cord in the dark. "Sam?" Sam was sobbing in the other room. "Sam?" He pushed open the door and stared at Sam withering on the floor, his body slamming against the wall. Bobby stared, gaping, until he rushed forward and forced Sam's squirming body onto the floor. He struggled for control as Sam opened his mouth and let out a bloodcurdling scream. "Sam, what the hell?!"_

"Bobby?" Dean snapped his fingers and Bobby blinked.

"What?"

"You spaced out," Dean told him.

"Oh...sorry." He looked into Dean's eyes. "Look Dean, I don't want you scared to see your own brother...I just want you to be prepared."

Dean swallowed.

"Okay, let's get on with it."

Bobby nodded and led him to the entrance of the drab looking building that laid in front of them. Dean was still trying to grasp the fact that Sam accidently killed someone and had apparently snapped somehow.

Quickly they walked to the front desk. The nurse behind it smiled.

"Hello Bobby, here to see Sam?"

Bobby nodded, Dean sensed that he was a regular visitor here. Good, at least Sammy wasn't alone.

"Who's this?" The nurse strained her neck to see Dean. Dean stiffened.

"This is my son. He just got back on a buisness trip. He'd like to see Sam."

Dean had forgotten what a smooth liar Bobby was.

"Can I see some ID?"

Quickly Dean showed her his. She looked at the two of them.

"You two don't look related."

"Everyone says that," Dean finally spoke up. "I look more like mom."

"It's true," Bobby quickly agreed. She frowned.

"I have to warn you...he's having one of those days."

Worry creased Bobby's face.

"What happened?"

"He was having one of his episodes. We had to give him some more drugs than usual. So he may not respond to you at all today."

Bobby nodded, this was probably for the best-though he saw the pain etched in Dean's eyes.

"We'd still really like to see him." She nodded and stood up as she grabbed a set of keys.

"All right, let's go."

Dean studied her. She was hot, and in another lifetime he'd be hitting on her already. But now he wasn't the least bit interested. He only cared about seeing Sammy.

His breath quickened at each step he took, as he was getting closer and closer to his paused at the door.

"You two ready?"

"Yeah." Bobby glanced at her. "Felicia, could we see him...unsupervised?"

She studied the both of them slowly and nodded.

"All right." She handed him the keys. "Hollar if you need anything."

Bobby nodded again.

"Well do."

He glanced at Dean.

"Ready?"

"Yup." Dean kept his eyes glued to the door. The door slowly pushed open and Dean stepped through wondering what the hell would greet him when he did...

** Again I'm SOO sorry for my long abscense! But I'm back! And I'm really excited about this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the review! A quick update!

* * *

**

Dean closed his eyes, preparing himself for what he mind find. He finally opened them and stared.

There was Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, his face down to the floor, his body pratically catatonic.

"Sam?" Nothing. "Sammy?" His voice cracked as he knetl by his brother and placed his hand onto Sam's shoulder. Sam still remained motionless. Tears pricked in Dean's eyes.

"Oh Sammy, what the hell happened to you?" He grabbed Sam's body into a hug. Bobby's eyes widened when he saw Sam return the hug by slowly placing his hand limply onto Dean's hand before having it quickly fall again. Dean's own eyes widened while he gave a gasping noise as he pushed back.

"Bobby...Did you see?..."

"I saw." Bobby shook his head. "Wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't. More progress than when he was with me, and without the drugs."

Dean stared at Sam who's head hung limply once more.

"Sam? Sam, you can hear me, I know you can. You're still in there, you can't fool me."

Nothing. Dean sighed. A wave of protectivness climbed over him.

"I'm not leaving him." His mouth tightened and Bobby frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not leaving him. I'm staying here,for the night."

Bobby's eyes widened.

"Dean, they won't allow that. They have strict visiting rules. They'll call security on you."

Dean closed his eyes as he brushed the bangs out of his younger brother's face.

"But I just found him again, Bobby. I can't lose him." He dropped his voice to a whisper.

"I know, and you won't." Bobby placed his hand over Dean's shoulders. "He's safe here. I've been keepin' an eye on him the best I can. I've even put a devil's trap around the building." Dean stared at him with slight disbelief and Bobby smiled. "So no demon is gonna be getting in and trying to take him."

"Thanks." Dean swallowed.

"Can I...can I at least feed him lunch? Make sure he gets something to eat?" Dean's voice was pleading and Bobby quickly nodded.

"Of course, I'll ask Felicia if she could get a tray of food for you." Bobby opened the door and quickly left. Dean looked back at Sam, trying to make eye contact.

"Come on Sammy, say something," he pleaded. "I know you recoginized me. Aren't you shocked to see your own brother? Back from hell?" A quiver of a smile formed on his face, but nothing happened with Sam who still remained catatonic. Tears filled his eyes.

"Well you never were one to show your emotions much." A tremble in his tone. He gripped Sam's hand tightly. His eyes widened.

"Jesus, your skin's freezing!" Quickly he gently began to rub his own hand against his brother's, transfering his heat. As he did so he froze when he felt Sam squeeze his hand equally quickly and gently before going limp again. Dean looked at his brother sharply.

"Was that you saying thank you?" He asked softly. Sam said nothing, did nothing. He jumped when the door was pushed open. In walked Bobby carrying a tray of food.

"Sorry, it took a while." Dean shook his head.

"It's all right."

Bobby eyed Sam.

"Did anything happen?"

Dean shook his head, for some reason not wanting to talk about the squeeze he wasn't sure was real. He glanced at the food. It was simple stuff. Soup, applesauce, toast, and some juice. Quickly he took a spoonfull of applesauce and placed it near Sam's mouth.

"Can you open up for me, Sammy?" He forced his voice to remain calm. Bobby blinked back tears as he watched Sam obey and take the food.

"Good boy." Dean's voice was soft and gently as he fed Sam again. Over and over the process was repeated where Dean would tell Sam to chew and swallow sometimes. Finally he ordered Sam to swallow the orange juice.

A wavery smile pasted onto Dean's mouth as he wiped up the crumbs on Sam's lips.

"Felicia said that the visiting hours are almost over." Bobby's voice was soft. "She was being generous to let you feed him. Normally the staff does that."

Dean nodded as he continued to try and make eye contact with his brother.

"We're coming back to see him tomorrow." His voice held no room for question in it.

Bobby nodded.

"As soon as visiting hours are open." He placed his hand onto Dean's shoulder. Dean grabbed Sam's hand.

"You hear that, Sammy? I'm coming back again, I'm not gonna be leaving you. Not ever again." He looked at Bobby. "All right, let's go before I change my mind and you're forced to have security come and drag me out of here."

Bobby nodded and glanced at Sam.

"Don't worry Sam." His voice was gruff. "We'll be back, like he said we're not leaving you." He patted Sam's shoulder awkwardly before leaving the room. Sam slowly raised his head and stared at the door as it shut, closing him out of society once again.

Silence filled the Impala when they both slid in. Bobby swallowed, and swallowed again before speaking.

"I'm sorry you had to see him like that. That it wasn't one of his better days." He kept his eyes casted downwards. Dean sighed as he started the car.

"So am I."

He pressed on the pedel.

"I guess we should find out what dragged you out of hell now," Bobby said in a suggestive tone. Dean shook his head.

"Nope. I don't care about that right now." Bobby stared at him.

"How could you not care?"

"I'm out aren't I? It's not going to do any good trying to figure out why, might make things worse. My main concern is Sam and finding that bitch Lilith and killing her myself."

Bobby closed his eyes.

"Dean, how are you going to do that? You don't even have the Colt anymore and Lilith took Ruby's knife with her."

Dean bit his lip and stared ahead.

"I don't know." His voice was soft, dangerous, and steady. It warned Bobby not to push it. "I don't know but I'm going to find a way. I'll find the colt again if I have to."

"Dean this is suicide!" Bobby's voice rose. "If you find Lilith she'll REALLY make sure you die for good! And you're not any help to Sam dead, are you? And if you leave him again I don't think he's ever gonna snap out of it."

Dean sucked in his breath as he continued to stare ahead. He swallowed and sighed. He hated the fact that Bobby was right. The first thing on his mind was _revenge_. Revege for what that bitch did to his baby brother. Picturing Sammy like that,completly catatonic, almost dead like, his knuckles tightened. But Bobby was right, he had no way of killing Lilith. It was suicide.

He swallowed again.

"All right." His voice shook when he spoke. "We'll wait on...on finding Lilith, but we WILL kill her one day."

"I'm on board with that," Bobby quickly agreed. "I just don't want to do anything rash."

"All right." Dean's voice was soft. "I guess we should go home and get some rest so we can go and visit Sam again tomorrow." _And figure out how the hell to get him out of that place. _He wisely kept those thoughts to himself. He was sure Bobby would freak at the idea of stealing Sam. Too dangerous. But he didn't care. He couldn't leave his brother in that place. He'll get him out, one way or another, or there'd be hell to pay....


End file.
